Stupid cars

UUUUGGGGGHHHHH.

What’s worse than car troubles? I’ll tell you what. Car troubles when you’re all alone in said car, with nobody to share in your humiliation and confusion, that’s what.

My flatmate is sick, so she hasn’t come to class today. No problem, I’d just go in on my own. It’s as if my car knew that she wasn’t there. That’s when it chose its moment to strike.

I’d just turned out of the student parking lot after my search for one of the coveted spots turned out to be fruitless. As I turned out, my car sort of just gave up. It was like I put my foot on the accelerator, but nothing happened. My poor little car simply rolled to a stop on a yellow dotted line, while other cars zipped past me.

I turned it off, then on again, then tried again. It rolled forward a little, then stalled.

Swearing, I turned on my hazard lights and let it sit for a minute. Revving it ridiculously high, I pulled out onto the road. In the 20 or so metres between that spot and the street where I wanted to park, my stupid car gave me grief like this about four times. I slowly crawled into a parking spot, sat in my car for a while feeling angry, then went to class. Maybe it’ll be normal when I go back to it at the end of the day.

It was really uncomfortable sitting there in this car on the side of the road, trying to make it work, and not having anybody with me to tell me what to do, or to share in my embarrassment.

Does anybody know what my problem could be?

I’M DESPERATE.

Learn to park

Yesterday I pulled into a carpark space at the supermarket and immediately suffered through an awkward moment when the owner of the car beside me returned and had to squeeze into his driver’s seat because we were too close together. There was a lot of apologetic eye contact on my part.

However, once he left and I opened my door to check if I was within the lines, I realised that I was parked absolutely perfectly, smack bang in the middle of my space.

I now feel no remorse.

Women, hazards, and awkward confidences

I sat my full license test today.

Half the morning was spent trying to calm whatever was jumping about in my stomach – they say butterflies, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like butterflies. I’d guess ferrets.

I got to the place I’d be meeting the tester, but I was a little early, so I went for a leisurely stroll around the field, and came across a very friendly dog. He was one of those dogs that you try to pat, but he’s too busy jumping around in excitement and trying to slobber all over you that you can’t really manage it.

I met my tester, an older guy with white hair and a deep voice, and we set off on our merry way. He broke the ice with a sexist joke, then informed me that it’s all part of the test.

The test was spent talking about boring jobs like market research and license testing, and he told me all about how someone once tried to break into his house. Ah, rapport.

When we got back to the centre, he informed me, as he tallied up my score, that his sons told him they never want to be like him. That was mildly awkward. Next thing I know, he’s saying “Hey presto, you passed.”

I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED.

And then with a firm handshake, he was off.

What an interesting man.

The most fun of all

The fun part about travelling from Tauranga to Hamilton with a smoker is when it’s freezing outside and they wind down all the windows in the car so they can smoke without slowly and surely suffocating their passenger.

It’s just great fun feeling that cold, cold wind run through my hair.

So very fun.

Because I’m not sure how well sarcasm translates in a blog post, I’m just going to come right out and say it: It’s not fun.

Love you anyway though brother dear.