Reasons I’m just not coping

1. I’ve been given a job at a respectable, daily newspaper, but it’s in Wanganui, right down the other end of the North Island from everyone I love.

2. I need to figure out a start date, probably within the next two or three weeks. This means trying to sort out time to visit my Dad and family in Auckland, my mother, and my boyfriend’s family in Tauranga before leaving.

3. Sam has told me he’ll move to Wanganui too, but he wants to find a job there first before he moves, and I don’t know how long that will take, or when he’ll actually start looking. Plus, if he gets accepted in the March intake into police college, he won’t bother moving. I don’t know how long we’ll be apart.

4. Money is crazy at the moment.

5. I think my cat hates me.

6. I don’t know why I’m not coping. I just keep feeling a weird mixture of stressed, sad, angry, and tired.

But aside from all these things, I’m ridiculously excited to start my new job. So to make this sad list a little balanced, here’s another list.

Reasons I’m happy

1. I get to have a real, professional email address. Many of you will not understand the awkwardness of emailing someone for an interview with a hotmail address.

2. I’m going to live with my cousin in Wanganui.

3. I’m going to be a lot closer to family that I usually never see.

4. I can go visit my boyfriend’s best friend who’ll be living just across the river from me.

5. I’ll have a full time job which means FULL TIME PAY. Sayonara money issues. Well, I hope anyway.

6. I get to take my cat with me, even though he hates me.

7. I get to see how I’ll do as a real journalist. Spread my wings and all that jazz.

 

Away with the fairies

When I’m under stress, I end up retreating to my own little world a lot of the time.

This week has been particularly stressful, with a whole lot of assignments to work on and another whopping power bill that apparently has something to do with our hot water cylinder heating the water too hot. My flatmate has said to me several times this week “you seem really out of it, Melissa.”

And I am. When there’s all this pressure to get all the schoolwork out of the way and to pull money out of nowhere, every little thing that’s slightly inconvenient sends me into an inner downward spiral. Outwardly I look peaceful, but it’s only because my mind has gone on vacation.

I never really realised that until now.