I'm still not really sure what's going on but look, I'm typing with my eyes closed.
Learning to wear the big kid pants
September 5, 2013Posted by on
I’m not the kind of person who takes well to flatting with others.
Most people my age and in my situation are relatively messy and carefree. I am generalising, but if you walk into the homes of a whole bunch of 20-year-old students, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a clean floor or a bench that doesn’t have at least some dirty dishes piled on it.
I’m not saying floors have to be clean all the time or dishes can never sit on the bench waiting to be cleaned – what I’m trying to say is that most student flats are filthy (no offense fellow students).
I, on the other hand, was brought up with quite strict cleaning rules. As a result, I’m a pretty tidy person. This can make living with another, less tidy person, a little bit painful, more so when it’s more than one less tidy person you are living with. I hate people leaving their mess for someone else to clean up, and I hate when they let it build into a monstrous pile of mess that nobody wants to touch with a ten foot pole. Because of this, I don’t hesitate to ask other people to pull their weight.
I feel as though I’ve had to be, on occasion, the nagging mother figure. I try to do it in a “would you mind doing this. . . ” way, rather than an order. The hard thing is that I have had to do it quite often, and it sucks to have to be “that person” who constantly chases everyone else up on the dishes they haven’t done or the toilet paper rolls they’ve been leaving in a pile behind the toilet. Don’t get me wrong, these are small things, but they do build up.
My old flatmate apparently couldn’t handle being asked to do these things, because he up and left my other flatmate and I without so much as an explanation, even though we’d been close, even best, friends for two years. At the time he said we treated him like a child, but I’ve come to see this more as an issue with being told to do things by anyone.
A lot of people my age are still getting used to being free of their parents. They have no obligatory chores, nobody to make them eat their vegetables, and nobody to ground them. They certainly don’t want to move out of home and straight into another place where somebody with no authority over them starts telling them what to do. The sad thing is, a lot of them aren’t mature enough yet to realise that when you move in with other people, you actually need to start taking responsibility for these things. That was something my old flatmate could never grasp, it seems, and it’s something that suggests to me he maybe deserved to be treated like a child if he was still going to stomp and wail when asked – politely – to do his fair share.
On the bright side, ever since he left, things have been going smoother. My existing flatmate and I have settled into a comfortable routine, and we’ve made sure to talk about things that bother us so that we can reach some kind of solution. Maybe living with only one other person is just easier.